So I don’t recall seeing lead actress Blythe Danner in anything even though she has had quite a storied career. It turns out that she is the mother of Gwyneth Paltrow and her performance in this film is great. Brett Haley’s direction here is solid as well and does an admirable job of expounding on its theme of relationships as one grows older.

Widowed for twenty years. Carol Petersen’s comfortable routine is upset when her aged dog passes away.  The discovery of a rat in her house leads to a conversation with her pool cleaner, a young man named Lloyd and they become platonic friends. Carol simply enjoys having someone to talk to while Lloyd appears to appreciate having someone listen to worries about his life lacking direction. Her friends who live in a nearby retirement resort encourage her to try speed dating, but it is a disaster. Later however she takes a liking to a handsome man her age who flirts with her, Bill, and they have a successful date together on his boat. However just as Carol’s daughter is visiting her and she is sharing the happy news with her about dating again, she learns that Bill is suddenly hospitalized and soon passes away. This sends her back into depression as she questions why bother forming attachments to other people when it inevitably leads to pain when they die.

Quiet and unassuming, this is a film that while suffused with grief, never wallows in it. I like how Carol is portrayed as a mature, intelligent person who for the most part is able to handle tragedy in a measured way as befits someone with plenty of experience with the ups and downs of life. I also like how it shows her as a rounded character, who is able to enjoy singing on karaoke night at a bar with Lloyd and even flaunt her singing skills, how she has fun with her circle of friends and how they are even a little naughty as they do so regardless of their advanced age. Such moments make this a rich film with humor and even a touch of romance to go along with the sadness. I certainly found it to be both very pleasant and enjoyable to watch.

The film’s strongest point is the thoughtful way that it depicts Carol’s various relationships. Whether it’s her pet, her circle of friends, her daughter who lives in another city, Lloyd or Bill, each plays a different role in her life and fulfills her needs for companionship, for socialization, or just to stave off loneliness and meaninglessness. The central theme that no matter how old one gets, relationships are still worth cultivating and that even knowing someone briefly can enrich one’s life is a moving one. Throughout all this, it’s great to see how elderly people can continue to lead happy and fulfilling lives. It’s especially amusing to see how Carol’s friends are contented about living together in a retirement resort and keep asking her when she’s going to move in with them. That’s certainly not how retirement homes for the old are usually shown in Asian fiction.

I’ll See You in My Dreams falls short of being a great film because it lacks the spark of genius that makes distinctive directors stand out. But it’s a solid, well made and perfectly balanced film that is truly delightful to watch.